1 de noviembre de 2006

Dear Suzanne, Over dinner today Cris made me cry. We were talking about Helen and she said “poor Suzanne, what did you do to her, dad?” ; she disarmed me. No answers. Yes it was my fault. You impressed Cristina with your conversation over the phone and she said you are very nice and sweet. It is terrible when children ask questions. I was all fidgety all the afternoon and I called twice. I thought something wrong went with the phone but realized you were busy perhaps expecting your prospective buyers never mind. I am sure you sell your property well but of course I appreciate it might me a trauma moving and packing and going to live somewhere else and adapt to a new life negotiating your retirement and pension. Many things at a time, take it easy. My heart is with you in this especial moments. That is why I fell in the temptation of the bloody phone. Sometimes I have physical need to talk to you because it relaxes me and in your mails you sound so laconic. Of course I want to know more and more about my dear Helen. Forgive this estranged father. I hope that when you change address we not lose contacts please. Now I have been thinking about an idea all the afternoon such is well as I know I have hanged my books in Internet from an international booksellers Abebooks and the business goes well I notice I have more petitions. Today I am sending a book I purchased in London called the “Day s Burden” to Ireland, yesterday dispatched another to California and the day before to Germany. I have about two thousands and odds books in stock and I can conduct this business from home it keeps me entertained and fit and also I liked since I think I am a bit of connoisseur and you know how much I love books and also I know you do as well as you have been quite an extensive and prolific reader. My proposal is this – perhaps books I dont know could unite us again for Helen’s sake if life and events since there is always a gap between expectations and achievements did us part- we could earn money by selling books through Internet. All you have to do is to make a catalogue or put down a list of the books you have read get rid of and want them on the market and transfer it to me via email and I hanged in my website if I have a petition I mailed you and sent the money of the prize of the book postages and every thing. The description is like this:

1. Name of the author in capitals
2. Surname after coma
3. Title
4. Publishing House
5. Year of edition
6. Some particulars of format like soft or hard cover (skin) characteristics of paper
7. Conditions of the copy
8. Prize in dollars or in pounds.

For me it is like manual work. Keeps me out mischief and of my broodings and also I can earn some money. I remember when I was in London I used to visit often Portobello and the flea markets. Well you told me you have books in cases. Dont dispose of them please. Helen likes books? If she does please tell me. It could be a good business for her spare time. I dont know I hope I have not proposed an infuriating or mad idea. Things here are quite smooth although the political situation is a disaster and very hard for me to put through but we will survive and my taxonomy from now onwards should be never complain I know I am grumbler but very strong and stubborn. They bend me but they might not break me. How sweet Cristina how full of commonsense. I am in a quagmire since I dont know what to do to approach our Helen. Will she like to accept to come over here for Xmas? My wife is better since I have been nearly five weeks in the band wagon. She didn’t let me to go to Fuentesoto since she knows me and the bodegas or cellars with the good wine of the Ribera del Duero are a danger for me. Poor Silvino I did not go to put flowers in his tomb but I have had him all the day in my mind and also you parents. They are all together now. Please I am anxious to gather news about Helen and also how is it going the selling of the house. I dont understand why Rog is also packing up. Please dont disaggregate, stay together perhaps you want to be near Helen. The babies ok? Those little things could be nuisance . How maternal she is and professional. Tell me more things about her what she likes how are her friends. I see the telly and London is as bad as here full of aliens and Islamises they might be good people I dont deny it but why they dont adapt themselves to our way of life and drop the chador and the gurka and the veil or what we call here because this country was Islamic for eight centuries and some of the Arabs tradition endure the griñon or almaizar. I hope that this melting pot comes out without conflict but my Henar frightened me when she said today she wants to give birth to a black baby and better twins gosh I nearly had a shock. I would accept it of course we are all sons of God but it is a pill hard to swallow if she marries a Muslim and takes my child to his harem. If God forbids but I am full of cobwebs and in the doldrums and that is why sometimes I want to talk with you. I cant talk to my wife she says I am burnt out case and she says I look like Buda my looks very deteriorated but I can say I have been a good breadwinner and provider I didn’t keep anything for myself since I am a bohemian and generous coming from a very peasant family but I pushed myself through in life. A pity I couldn’t fulfil my dreams of a literary career. The whole planet has changed and readers are not interested in beauty feelings or aesthetics considerations. Everything has become venal and subjected to market forces. No place to a humanist like me. Still I keep a job and my marriage although it is quite on the rocks had gone to worse patches than now in the past. It was a mistake to get married again out of despite I think sometimes but others seeing the nice family God has given me hold other considerations that I have written a good book with crooked characters and uneven lines. Anyway Suzanne Tony was only a philosopher a dreamer. Should have become a priest but the bishop should have the hell of a job with me always running after the ladies. Please consider my proposal. What do you think about the idea of selling books in partnership with me. That is why I wanted to ring you up. Write as soon as you can and please become a little bit more explicit my lady Suzanne. I always will love you until I pop off. You were a miracle a dream I never thought you were real. That was the trouble. Look after yourself and send my Helen tons of kisses and love and support. I am still scared to talk to her.

Your faithfully